How Do I know if I Need Therapy?
Have you ever asked yourself something along the lines of “do I need therapy or am I overreacting?” LISTEN UP! You don’t need an official diagnosis or to be in the midst of a full-blown, panic-attack inducing meltdown to benefit from therapy at some point in your life. While going to therapy is definitely less mysterious and less reserved only for “those people,” it is still seen as an extreme, when all else fails option.
If you’re reading this, you already know the answer to your question. You’ve probably been going down the google rabbit hole, diagnosing yourself with every disorder in the 500 page DSM or think you have every dysfunctional behavior trait the therapist on TikTok posted about this week – Codependent! Anxious attachment! Narcissistic! PTSD! Trauma bonds! Gaslighting! While helpful from an educational standpoint, this can also feel incredibly overwhelming and make it hard to know what exactly is going on when we live in a digital world of information overload.
On the less dramatic end of the spectrum, maybe you’ve just been struggling in silence for so long and your typical coping mechanisms aren’t quite cutting it…I mean, there are only so many Gilmore Girls episodes available after all *gasp!* You might be noticing some shame creeping into your feels over the fact that you can’t see to get your shit together. You’ve always seen yourself as the strong, accomplished one and don’t want other people to see you in moments of struggle or weakness – to be seen as vulnerable.
Or maybe you just know you feel like crap and have no idea why but do know that you’re tired and have hope that things can feel better. A lot of people come to my office minimizing their own experiences because “everyone else has it worse” or that what you’re dealing with isn’t “bad enough.” To this I say, yes someone always has it worse but you are also worthy of better. You are worthy of your own thoughts, feelings, experiences and to be heard and seen.
I’ll say it again, you already know the answer to your question – spoiler alert – it’s YES!
Yes, you would benefit from therapy. But why does it take so dang long for some to make that first appointment? Some clients tell me they’ve been wanting to start therapy for 6 months or longer before scheduling the first appointment. That’s a long time to be struggling! My guess is because there is a certain level of fear or anxiety getting in the way. And those feelings are valid! Even the most seasoned therapy go-ers who come to my office report feeling a nervous or awkward in the beginning. And you know what, ME TOO! I’ve been having first therapy appointments with clients for over 5 years and I still get a little nervous when meeting new clients. It’s only normal!
Therapy is a process we are not taught about in school or casually read about in our daily lives. It is hard to know or fully understand what it is like or fully understand the value of asking for help, in finding support outside of ourselves. Unfortunately, our capitalistic society with values based in productivity only reinforces this notion that we must shove it all down and continue working hard. This too shall pass! I need to be more grateful! I’ll just work on being more positive! I’ll keep calling my best friend Becky for happy hour or Sunday brunch! Frankly, it’s all B.S. and just for a bandaid for temporarily relief in the moment. No shame if that’s what is moving you forward right now, myself and many others have been there too!
Right off the bat, I commend you for making it this far.
Recognizing you need help takes extreme courage and vulnerability. And I truly, truly mean that from human to human not because it’s “my job” to say that. It’s hard to say I need help if you aren’t used to it. It’s just as hard to find help in a system that is unfamiliar and filled with mumbo jumbo therapy jargon that you may not understand or know how this jargon can actually help you feel better. You decide you would like to find a therapist to help you navigate through your difficulties, but now you’re struggling with where to find one, who to know who you can trust, getting a phone call back, or finding someone who makes you feel at ease with the process.
Once you do find someone, schedule the first appointment, and show up to the office you have most likely been through a lot of hard work. And then you’re asked to open up about yourself, your current struggles, your family history, your currently relationships with others – sometimes things you haven’t talked about with anyone else - to a total stranger. Um esqueeze me?? You want me to do what?? Sooo yes, let’s circle back to those initial scary, nervous feelings mentioned earlier. Makes total sense to me!
So is it supposed to be this way?
Sure, therapy can be awkward and uncomfortable in moments but if you trust the process continue to prioritize your needs, it can bring a greater understanding of yourself and relief from overwhelming feelings and stressors you are experiencing. You should, however, be able to feel safe with your therapist and not feel forced to sharing anything you are not ready to share. Sometimes it takes calling or emailing a few therapists to see how they can be able to help you. Notice how they make you feel over the phone and if you feel comfortable in their ability to support you and your goals. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to find a therapist that is right for you. Sometimes we think that proximity, insurance coverage, or cost must dictate our choice of therapist, but it is worth it to find someone that right for you in the long run (within reason on cost and other variables, of course). Take your time and ask as many questions as needed.
Here are is a list of questions you can ask a potential therapist if you feel stuck -
What is your training and educational background?
How long have you been practicing?
In what service do you specialize?
How many clients have you had with similar circumstances to my own? When was the last time you worked with someone similar to me?
Describe your ideal patient?
What is your general philosophy and approach to helping? Are you more directive or more indirective?
On average, how long does treatment take?
How often would you need to See me?
What treatment options do you offer?
How do You address (anxiety, depression, trauma — whatever issues you are experiencing).
What are your fees?
What should I do if I feel like we aren’t a good fit?
How should I prepare for our first session?
Is there anything I should do before each session?
If you’re ready (enough) to start sometimes the best thing you can do is just show up.
Embrace the unknowns, the potential awkwardness, and remember most often the hardest part is just the anticipation of the thing. My goal for every client who walks through my door or appears on their virtual screen is to instill hope that starting the therapy process is actually really not all that bad.
Let’s do this!
Starting the therapy process can feel overwhelming but trust that you are here for a reason and can do hard things. We’ll talk soon!
Ready to get started? I’m ready to help!
Therapy can help
If you feel like you’re getting stuck along the way or want more guided support, it may be time to seek a consultation with a therapist. Contact Real Well Therapy here or call 512-686-7009.
Want to learn more about how anxiety therapy can help you? Click here!
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Disclaimer: the information provided in this blog post is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice or a substitute for professional consultation. If you are experiencing emotional distress, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.
