What's A Highly Sensitive Person And What Makes Them Unique
The first time I heard about the symptoms of a highly sensitive person (HSP) and what they mean, I felt a huge sense of relief and the lift of weight I didn’t even know I was carrying. It was like I had been holding my breath a little bit my whole life and was finally able to let it out. I felt seen, I gained a greater understanding of myself, and most importantly I was able to accept and be proud of my sensitivity and its own uniqueness.
If you're a HSP like me, then you've probably felt like an outsider at some point in your life. You might have been called sensitive and then maybe starting to feel embarrassed or shame. Unfortunately, our society does not automatically value or appreciate out sensitivity. Be strong they tell us! Don’t cry, get over it, move on! I call bullshit.
But maybe you’re just a HSP. You're in good company, my friend.
The term “HSP” was developed by Dr. Elaine Aron who has researched high sensitivity since 1991. The information provided is pulled from Dr. Aron’s research and can find more on her research on her website.
Continue reading if you’re curious about the signs that will help you determine if you're also an HSP:
You're easily overwhelmed.
HSP’s are easily overwhelmed by their environment which can cause more stress than most people. This includes the physical environment, social situations, and even internal stimuli like thoughts and emotions.
You may find it difficult to deal with loud public spaces or crowds of people. You might also feel overwhelmed by things that most people don’t think twice about — a busy grocery store or a buzzing restaurant full of people chatter boxes and gossip queens. You might prefer to stay home rather than go out because you don't enjoy being around so many people at once.
Other things that can cause an overload include driving on busy roads with lots of traffic (um, raises hand); trying to finish an assignment while your boss is asking questions; having dinner at a fancy restaurant where everyone is dressed up; attending gatherings where there's too much noise from music or laughter (or both).
It’s also possible that some days these are not as bothersome when there is nothing else going on in our lives OR you can manage for a little bit but then a sharp shift occurs suddenly where you need to escape ASAP!
Click here to learn more about how to cope with overstimulation.
You're sensitive to subtle stimuli.
You are able to hear, see, smell and taste things more deeply than others or notice details that others don't. You often times feel and enjoy music, art, and food in a deeper way than those around you. You feel your emotions deeply and vividly. Your senses are heightened in a way that makes the world an intense place for you at times. Your system may become overwhelmed easily if you aren’t used to being around a lot of noise or other kinds of stimulation.
You have a rich, complex inner life.
You might find yourself thinking deeply about all kinds of things - things that other may not give a second thought. You may find yourself answering “nothing” if someone asks what’s on your might or “I’m fine” when someone asks how you are doing. You hate small talk and may find it easier to answer this way as it may be too deep or complicated to share the truth at the moment - or you may be too exhausted!
This leads to a common misconception people have about highly sensitive people as being shy, timid, and introverted. Yes, some HSPs are shy or introverted but being “in your head” doesn't necessarily mean being shy or fearful. In fact, many HSPs are actually bold and assertive because they understand their own needs better than most other people do and are able to set boundaries and communicate them with ease.
You have trouble separating yourself from what's going on around you.
You feel what everyone else is feeling and are easily influenced by the mood of others - i.e., you’re highly empathetic. If someone is angry or sad, you're likely to feel some of those emotions as well—and sometimes even more strongly. It can be hard to turn this ability off and you’ll learn that is just part of who you are and how sensitive your system is set up.
You hate being the center of attention.
Flashy clothes or bright colors are probably not a part of your wardrobe. You like simple things that are comfortable and familiar to you. If someone starts criticizing you, it might be enough for you to shut down completely and go into your own little world for hours at a time. It might be hard to be part of group discussions or to be called upon when you aren’t ready to speak. The thought of a surprise birthday party or any other situation where you’re the center of attention is a total nightmare situation for you!
Sudden changes throw you off.
Even the smallest changes can throw you off. You need to be prepared for changes and to know what will happen next. You love structure. If there is anything that is not clear or explained properly, it makes it hard for you to be able to move through it with confidence.
You crave time alone.
When you're feeling low, the last thing that comes to mind is calling someone. You'd much rather be alone with your thoughts and recharge in peace. You need time alone to restore your energy levels and connect with yourself.
HSPs cherish solitude as a form of self-care; it helps us feel centered, nourished and ready for what lies ahead — whether it's a stressful day at work or an important meeting. A good night's sleep also does wonders for us; we're more likely than non-HSPs to wake up earlier than usual so we can get some quiet time in before being bombarded by noise from other people (or even our own thoughts).
Time in nature nourishes you.
Nature can be a great place to get away from all the noise and recharge your batteries. Nature has a calming effect and it probably feels good to get away from it all sometimes – again, time alone! Nature draws you and you tend to feel better when you go to it.
You're highly empathetic and compassionate.
Why? Because you feel things deeply and vividly! You pick up on subtle stimuli that other people miss. You're sensitive to the energy of those around you or to the intimacies in your close relationship with others. When something feels “off,” it affects you deeply. Your inner life is rich and complex, your imagination runs wild with ideas and thoughts and your nervous system is sensitive to all kids of emotions and sensations. It might be hard for those around you to understand this part or relate to what you experience. You also might end up misinterpreting social cues or feel overwhelmed when you’re in situations that are unfamiliar and don't know how you should act.
If these signs resonate with you, you may be a highly sensitive person.
Remember - the trait isn't a disorder all it means that your nervous system is more sensitive to stimulation than those of others, which can make the world feel overwhelming to you at times.
Being an HSP is a superpower but also may require a little more work than others. You're likely to be very empathetic and aware of what’s going on around you but then may cause you to have trouble handling sensory overloads like loud noises and crowds.
According to Dr. Aron’s research, about 15-20 percent of the population meet criteria for the HSP trait. You’re in good company! There are so many things you can do to make your life easier and more enjoyable when the overwhelm sets in. You can try meditation on your own or with guided meditation apps like Calm or Headspace. If a social situation feel overwhelming, try taking some time beforehand to visualize what you can control in the situation to minimize the element of surprise or give you an exit plan - remembering what worked last time will also help a lot. And if being alone is difficult because it makes you feel lonely, call a friend or loved one to be around who understands what your feelings mean so they can support you the way you need.
Click here to read more about how to cope with overstimulation.
Did you connect with something here?
If you’re looking for more, you can find the HSP quiz available here and explore the resources available to you from Dr. Aron on her website.
If you feel like you’re getting stuck along the way or want more guided support, it may be time to seek a consultation with a therapist. Contact Real Well Therapy here or call 512-686-7009.
Therapy can help
If you feel like you’re getting stuck along the way or want more guided support, it may be time to seek a consultation with a therapist. Contact Real Well Therapy here or call 512-686-7009.
Want to learn more about how anxiety therapy can help you? Click here!
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Disclaimer: the information provided in this blog post is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice or a substitute for professional consultation. If you are experiencing emotional distress, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.
