Why Rest Feels Impossible When You Have High-Functioning Anxiety: A Therapist’s Perspective

There's a special kind of exhaustion that comes from being utterly drained yet still convinced that rest is somehow a waste of time—or from being bone-tired but still feeling like you need to earn your right to rest. Know the feeling?

If you’re dealing with high-functioning anxiety, there's a reason why rest feels more like a challenge than a relief.

As an anxiety therapist for women and teens in Austin, I've noticed a common thread among my clients with high-functioning anxiety: rest isn't just difficult – it often feels impossible. And it's not because you don't know you need it (trust me, your body's probably been sending you signals). It's because your anxiety has turned "doing" into your safety net and "being still" into your most significant discomfort.

In this blog, we'll explore why your mind and body resist rest so strongly because understanding the 'why' behind your resistance to rest is the first step toward changing your relationship with it.

Understanding Why Rest Feels Like Your Enemy

For many of us with high-functioning anxiety, the resistance to rest runs deeper than just having a busy schedule or a lot on our plate. On the surface, you might notice the obvious signs – the racing thoughts that won't quiet down, the fidgeting when you try to sit still, or that constant urge to check just one more thing off your list.

Let’s peel back the layers. And if you want to learn more about why understanding what’s beneath HFA matters and how to do it, check out this blog.

The Achievement Identity

Were you ever praised for being the "responsible one" or the "high achiever"? Those well-meaning compliments might have taught you that your worth comes from what you do, not who you are. Over time, staying busy becomes more a part of your identity than a habit. Resting can start to feel like letting go of what makes you valuable.

Your Brain's Protective Mode

Here's something fascinating: your anxiety isn't trying to torture you – it's trying to protect you. Your brain feels safe when constantly in motion, planning, and producing. It's like your anxiety whispers, "If we stay busy enough, nothing can go wrong." Rest, on the other hand, feels dangerous because it means letting your guard down. And for a brain wired for high-functioning anxiety, that's a scary prospect.

The Society Factor

We live in a world that celebrates the hustle and glorifies being busy. Social media feeds are full of "rise and grind" messages. And come to think of it, have you noticed how "busy" has somehow become the standard response to "How are you?". For those with high-functioning anxiety, these messages aren’t just influential – they validate one’s deepest fears about what might happen if they slow down.

Breaking Down the Barriers to Rest

When it comes to actually allowing ourselves to rest, high-functioning anxiety throws up some pretty persistent roadblocks. Understanding these barriers is key to working through them:

The Mental Traps of HFA

• Perfectionism: "If I rest, things won't go according to plan."

• Fear of falling behind: Your energizer bunny persona is often driven by the exhausting belief that everyone else is getting ahead

• Procrastination – on the flipside, you might not start at all (because that means you can’t fail, right?)

• Guilt spiral: The nagging feeling that rest is selfish or lazy

• Control illusion: Overthinking and staying busy feels like staying in control

The Physical Reality of HFA

Your body's gotten so used to being "on" that rest can feel downright uncomfortable, which can be incredibly frustrating and not what you’re going for. You might experience:

• Restlessness or fidgeting when you try just to chill

• Muscle tension/tension headaches due to your body holding onto stress and anxiety regardless of whether you’re trying to rest

• Racing heart, even when you try to slow down

• Difficulty sitting in silence

The truth is these responses are your anxiety's way of trying to push you back into action mode. But here's the thing – just like your body has learned to stay in constant motion, it can learn to embrace rest, too.

Learn more about how HFA shows up in your daily life and what you can do here.

The Bottom Line

Learning to rest with high-functioning anxiety isn't about forcing yourself to sit still or expecting your mind to quiet down magically. It's about gradually building a new relationship with rest that acknowledges your anxiety while gently challenging those unhelpful beliefs about productivity and worth. Small steps in this direction can lead to significant shifts in how you experience both rest and anxiety.

How Therapy Can Help

As an anxiety therapist in Austin, I help women and teens understand their relationship with anxiety and rest and develop practical strategies for finding peace. If you're ready to explore what's keeping you stuck in the constant "doing" mode, schedule a free consultation or call 512-686-7009 to get started.

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