How to Stop Masking Your Emotions
Feelings are hard. Some emotions can make us feel super uncomfortable and might even be scary. My guess is you don’t want to feel the uncomfortable or scary ones. You probably do everything you can to “mask” these emotions, stuffing them away never to be seen or felt! I see it ALL the time. “It’s too difficult to be in my feelings.” “I don’t know how to feel my feelings.” “I don’t have time to be emotional.” “It’s easier to just bottle it all up and hide it away.” “I can think my way through this.” “This is just a problem that needs to be solved.”
But you’re still stuck.
If you’ve ever said one of these statements, it’s likely you’ve done some masking at some point in your life. You may even have a pretty little mask hung on your coat hanger you put on every morning when you wake up.
You know what this looks like - just putting on a smile even though your internal world might be showing something totally different. Saying “I’m fine!” when someone asks if anything is wrong even though you’re struggling. Concealing your vulnerability when you’re hurting, not wanting to cry in front of others.
You’re probably wearing a “mask” to conceal your true feelings, showing the world around you something different than what you might actually experiencing. This emotional masking can be a helpful way get through the day, if left on for too long it can have negative effects on your well-being.
Embracing your true, authentic emotions enhances your life. By fully acknowledging and experiencing your genuine feelings, you are able to free up so much space to and focus on other things that are important to you and connecting with others in ways you are desire. It takes lots of energy and time to push away your feelings - this time can be redirected towards leading a more fulfilling life. Think about what you could notice or how you could connect if you had the brain space to do so!
When we actually allow ourselves to feel a specific emotion, we come to realize that its intensity is temporary. Something super helpful to understand is that emotions have a natural lifespan and eventually subside. They don’t last forever. They may resurface at times, but they will pass again. On the other hand, the thoughts we generate about these negative emotions tend to persist endlessly. When we truly feel our emotions, they pass through our awareness and gradually fade away on their own.
Experiencing our feelings requires minimal effort, apart from giving ourselves permission and opening up space to feel them. Even without exerting much effort, the simple act of allowing ourselves to fully experience what is already present can have a deeply calming effect. When we no longer have to resist or escape from our true emotions, we can relax and embrace our true selves, fully immersing ourselves in our authentic lives.
Reasons We Mask Our Emotions
Social Expectations - you ever been told to remain be “calm,” “cool,” and “collected?” Yea, me too.
Fear of Rejection - no one likes feeling misunderstood!
Self-Protection - past traumas may be coming up in the present
Maintaining Control - because if we aren’t calm, we are “out of control.”
The feelings may be scary and overwhelming - you may fear something bad will happen
The Consequences of Masking Emotions
Increased Stress
Relationship Strain
Emotional Suppression
Mental Health struggles
How to Stop Masking Your Emotions
Self-reflection - reflect on patterns and triggers - try journaling to help with this process; here’s a link to some journal prompts as a starting point.
Acceptance - all emotions are valid and serve a purpose.
Mindfulness - identify and be with with your feelings without judgment.
Self-Compassion - be kind and gentle with yourself - this is not always an easy process!
Creative Outlets - use as art, music, or writing to express your emotions in a non-verbal way.
Seek Professional Help - a therapist can help you gain deeper insights into your emotional patterns and provide helpful strategies
Be you true, badass self
I’m sure you’ve heard “be your authentic self.” Heck, I say it all the time and have build my business with authenticity being a core value! It’s so important and love helping women learn how to not be scared to show who they are - no matter how different. When it comes to emotions, authenticity means allowing yourself to be honest and open about what you are feeling, both with yourself and with others. This is a HUGE act of self-acceptance and courage, because we know this process can get super uncomfortable.
Bottom Line
Ditching your masks might be the thing that gets you where you want to be. Whether it is deeper, real connections with others or just a deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself. By facing your feelings in healthy ways, you can release the internal emotional hold and foster meaningful connections creating a the enriched life you’ve been looking for.
Super powerful!
Therapy can help
If you feel like you’re getting stuck along the way or want more guided support, it may be time to seek a consultation with a therapist. Contact Real Well Therapy here or call 512-686-7009.
Want to learn more about how anxiety therapy can help you? Click here!
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Disclaimer: the information provided in this blog post is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice or a substitute for professional consultation. If you are experiencing emotional distress, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.
