Cultivating Joy as an Anxious Person: It's Possible, I Promise

Let's be real – anxiety is a total joy-killer. It's that unwelcome guest that crashes your mental party, leaving you feeling like a frazzled mess on the inside while you're desperately trying to keep it together on the outside. But here's the thing: even with anxiety, you can find moments of genuine joy. It's not about magically erasing your anxiety (wouldn't that be nice?). It's about learning to coexist with it while still embracing life's good stuff.

Ready to discover how? Let's dive in.

1. Feel Your Feelings (Yeah, All of Them)

Okay, here's the deal: bottling up your emotions is like wrapping a queen-sized fitted sheet around a king-sized mattress. It just doesn't work, and you end up experiencing more anxiety (and frustration) in the long run.

So, let's try something different:

Permit Yourself to Feel

-Newsflash: It's okay not to be okay sometimes. Seriously. Accepting this can reduce anxiety.

-Acknowledge your anxiety: Notice when it arises without judgment. Try saying, "I'm feeling anxious right now, and that's okay."

Let It Out (In Healthy Ways)

-Find your emotional release valve. Maybe it's a good cry, a sweaty workout, talking with a friend you trust or who makes you laugh, or scribbling furiously in a journal.

-Practice mindfulness: Observe your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them.

-Join a support group or try a guided workshop. Sometimes, we need guidance to tackle the big feelings.

Embracing your emotions doesn't mean you're giving in to anxiety. It's about understanding yourself and your anxiety better, which is the first step to finding those pockets of joy, even when (and especially when) anxiety is tagging along for the ride.

2. Give Your Inner Dialogue a Makeover

Do you know that voice in your head that's always ready to give unhelpful commentary? Yeah, it's time to flip the script.

Changing your self-talk isn't about ignoring reality or pretending everything's peachy. It's about giving yourself a chance and opening up space for joy.

Shift Your Narrative and Empower Yourself

You might not want to hear this, but it can help to stop seeing yourself as anxiety's victim. Consider whether anxiety isn't happening to you but is happening for you.

- Swap "What if it goes wrong?" for "What if it goes right?"

- Instead of, "Why me?" try, "What can I learn from this?" or "What is my anxiety trying to tell me?" (this could be anything unconsciously driving your anxiety, such as an underlying drive to people-please or be perfect).

Awareness is vital when managing anxiety, as it allows you to acknowledge what's happening and choose a more informed, self-compassionate response. Learn more about emotional awareness and anxiety here. 

Try Affirmations

- Find a mantra that resonates. "I am enough" or "I've got this" can work wonders. Repeat it daily, even if you don't believe it initially. Your brain's listening, trust me.

- Catch those negative thoughts. When you hear "I can't handle this," try "I've gotten through tough times before, and I can do it again."

3. Face Your Anxiety (Yes, Really)

When anxiety hits, your first instinct might be to run for the hills (or the wine bottle, or your phone). But hear me out: what if you didn't?

Recognize Your Escape Routes

- Notice when you're reaching for that glass of wine, diving into online shopping, or endlessly scrolling social media.

- These might feel good at the moment, but they're just anxiety in a trench coat trying to sneak past you.

Sit with the Discomfort (It Won't Kill You, Promise)

- Next time anxiety shows up, try saying "Hello, old friend" instead of "Oh no, not again!"

- Focus on your body. Where do you feel the anxiety? Is it a tight chest? Butterflies in your stomach?

Identify Your Joy Compass

- Think about how you want to feel. Safe? Loved? Content?

- Now, let's create those feelings without running from anxiety. Here's a practice to try:

  1. Choose one feeling you want to cultivate (e.g., "safe").

  2. Close your eyes and remember a time when you felt genuinely safe.

  3. Notice the sensations in your body associated with that memory.

  4. Take three deep breaths, focusing on those sensations.

  5. Open your eyes and find one thing in your current environment that makes you feel safe.

By practicing this regularly, you're training your brain to find joy in safety (or love, or contentment) even when anxiety is present.

4. Break Out of Your Anxiety Bubble

When anxiety's got you in its grip, it's easy to get stuck in your head. That's why sometimes the best way to find joy is to look beyond yourself.

This doesn't mean ignoring your anxiety but expanding your world so that anxiety doesn't take up all the space. And in those expanded spaces is where unexpected joy likes to hang out.

Embrace Your Childlike Curiosity

- Remember when everything was an adventure? Channel that energy.

- Try something new and totally unrelated to your usual routine. It could be anything from cooking to coding. It could mean painting a picture (even if it looks like a blob). The act of learning itself can be a source of joy.

Want to learn more about the healing power of hobbies for anxiety? Check out this blog.

Think Bigger Than Your Anxiety

- Volunteer for a cause you care about. Focusing on your worries when helping others address theirs is hard.

- Join a community group or class that interests you. This could be a book club, a fitness class, or a local hobby group. Finding something that engages your mind and connects you with others is vital.

Connect with Nature

- Take a walk in a park or sit under a tree. Notice the details: the texture of bark, the sound of leaves rustling.

- If you can't get outside, bring nature in. Care for a plant (start with a hardy one if you don't have a green thumb).

Bottom Line

Cultivating joy while dealing with anxiety isn't about eliminating anxiety completely—it's about creating space for joy to coexist alongside it. By embracing your emotions, reframing your thoughts, and taking intentional steps to engage with the world, you're building resilience and opening doors to unexpected moments of happiness.

Therapy Can Help

While these strategies can make a significant difference, sometimes you need extra support. That's where therapy comes in. As an anxiety specialist for women and teens, I can help you develop personalized tools to manage your anxiety and cultivate more joy in your life. Ready to take the next step? If you're looking for an anxiety therapist in Austin, Texas, call 512-686-7009 or schedule a free consultation online here.

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